Musings
by hansolofan
Summary: Leia's thoughts on Han, Luke, basically, her life. my first fanfic. PLEASE REVIEW! FLAMES AND PRAISE ALL WELCOME
1. Chapter 1

Leia's data pad

Entry 1

Sometimes I just don't know what to think Han Solo.

I guess I'm lucky to have him.

He may have once been a smuggler, but he's a nice guy, always there to comfort me, reassure me and encourage me. Though I still find it hard to ignore the fact that he has many ex-girlfriends, and someday one might come back looking for him. Quite unlikely though. If they find out he has recently joined the rebellion and is now referred to as General Han Solo, they'll probably laugh, make fun of him, and as a result, get fried to oblivion by Han's blaster.

Oh Sith, what the hell am I saying?

I know this is not going to work. I'm sure Han knows too, but he's just staying to please Luke, Lando, Wedge and mostly, me.

I know why I fell for him in the first place. His good looks. He has deep hazel eyes, a sharp, just-right nose and wavy, thick, dark hair. He is cocky, sarcastic and has such a huge ego. I can just imagine what Dad would say (not Darth Vader, he's said plenty, I mean my father Bail Organa, who took care of me).

Well, a few minutes ago he just arrived back from a very important mission grinning triumphantly and I argued with him. Can you believe it? He's back for about four seconds and we're at loggerheads again. This time it was my fault. I'll admit this to you. I made some smart comment about his ship and we launched right into an argument.

At least Luke is alright. Luke's my brother. My older brother, though ten minutes hardly counts. He does not look a bit like me. He has blond hair, I have brown hair. He has blue eyes, I have brown eyes. The only similarity between both of us is our talent with the force. My real mother, a fool who, for some reason, decided to marry a future Darth Vader, was a force-blind, so I guess both of us inherited the connection with the force from my father.

I can hardly believe he's my father. Though, like Han said, he didn't come out of the womb with a breather and mask. He was once an innocent little kid, recruited into the Jedi order because he was believed to be the Chosen One, as he had a midi-chlorian count a of 20 000. Luke ran a Holonet search and found all that, then told me. I still find it hard to believe. For goodness sake, he slaughtered all the Jedi! Some Chosen One. He has harmed me too. I was caught by him, ordered to be tortured by him and had my home world destroyed by him. How can one bear to do all that? Now you know why I hate him so much.

GO AWAY!

You think I'm handsome, eh? How about a k

GO AWAY! That was Han. And I don't want to kiss him.

I hope he didn't read the part on what I think of him.

Okay, he left, after giving me that lopsided grin that never fails to charm me.

Right. Han has the worst friends ever. Including Lando Calrissian. I swear once he's here, Han starts drinking and gambling with Lando, just what Luke and I are trying so hard to stop him from doing. I first met him on Bespin, Cloud City, when we were seeking refuge and repairs. He had betrayed us and that's how Han ended up in carbonite and how I ended up in that metal bikini and slave to Jabba. He apologized once we reached Yavin 4 and up till today I'm wondering if I should have not forgave him. After all, he was the one who caused all the agony we went through. But well, Han forgave him, what could I do? And I despise the way he keeps on flirting with me, though he knew Han is the only guy I am interested in. well, Lando is handsome, though Han beats him. He has black hair and light brown eyes, and is quite the dapper gentleman he looks like.

Oh great Han and Luke are here to bring me for dinner, so bye, I'll continue writing later.

Leia Organa

Entry 2

I can't believe Han did that.

I can't believe I did that.

We were dancing outside, when his 'hand slipped'. I stopped gazing into his beautiful eyes and glared instead. Then my hand shot out and I slapped him, hard, on the face. He glanced at me, astounded.

"Hey, what was that for, sweetheart?" he asked quizzically.

I averted my eyes, and fled down the path, hot tears welling up in my eyes.

When he did that, he reminded me of my time on the Death Star. Two stormtroopers had raped me and I was scheduled for execution in an hour when Han and Luke rescued me. What impeccable timing.

I trusted him. Why did he do that?

Oh, I hate myself. Han must have felt terrible.

And I hate Han.

Han's data pad

Entry 1

Whoa. The princess just slapped me. It was an accident, really. But she slapped me.

Well, I guess I shouldn't have done that. She obviously trusted me and I betrayed her trust.

Way to go, Han Solo.

She's good at slapping. My right cheek is crimson and it stings. Chewie was laughing when he saw me and said, what's wrong, cub? Fall down? Someone slapped you?

Oh he knew, all right.

"Yeah, right. Dream on, you fuzzball." I said moodily.

oh, don't worry, Solo, I'll leave you alone tonight so you have time to muse over your _sins_.

I swear, someday when Malla does that to Chewie, I'm going to get him.

I settled for staring daggers at him. He grinned evilly.

So I decided to do as he said.

Maybe I shouldn't have done that. Okay, I definitely shouldn't have done that. I love Leia, though she obviously doesn't love me. She's not like any other girl I encountered. Most of them are intimidated by me and they think Chewie is a major inconvenience. Leia's different. She isn't intimidated by me, she actually retorts and answers back, a quality I admire in ladies. And she likes Chewie.

Conclusion: I'll apologise tomorrow. Wish me luck. Though it's gonna take a lot more than luck for her to forgive me.

Han Solo

Entry 2

Okay. I'm lucky.

I didn't even have to apologise. She came over last night and opened the door. I swiveled to face her. She didn't look at all well. She was clothed in a white night gown that was kinda transparent. She looked… beautiful, serene. Her face was streaked with tears.

I got up, walked to her and held her shoulders and asked quietly, "are you okay?"

She wrapped her arms around me and sobbed onto my shoulder.

Solo, you are an idiot.

"Han… I'm sorry about just now. Does your cheek hurt?"

for a moment, I just held her, too astounded to speak. She had finally swallowed her pride and was actually crying in my arms.

"no it doesn't," I whispered, caressing her shoulders. "It was my fault, really. I shouldn't have done that."

"it's alright," Leia said, smiling radiantly at me.

I really can't bring myself to believe it. The princess, proud princess Leia, had come to me in the middle of the night to apologise and smile at me.

My princess.


	2. Chapter 2

Thank you everyone! I have so far,3 reviews! Okay, whatever it's very little, but so what? Please review, everyone.

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Leia's datapad 

Entry 3

Oh god I am so confused! I can't believe Han is stirring up all these emotions in me. I mean, no one has ever done it before. No one has ever broke through the barrier I had so meticulously built since Chris. I think that was one of my happiest moments of my life. I mean, he loved me and I liked him. Perfect, in my opinion. I would probably never love anyone, just like, like, like and that's all.

But Han, he's different. And Luke too. But I think I like Han more. He's a lot more handsome. I think I should hire a psychologist. Why am I thinking so much about him and nobody else?

I can just imagine Mon Mothma's reaction when I admit I like him, not Luke anymore.

AAAARRRRGGGGGHHHHH! Stop thinking!

Han's datapad

Entry 4

I wonder if I just like her because she's incredibly beautiful, just like the other girls. Somehow I don't think. For instance, I keep on noticing little itsy-bitsy things about her. Yesterday I realized she has lovely soft brown eyes. I thought she had blue eyes. Well, maybe I'm not always right after all. The day before yesterday, I realized that when she speaks, her hands are clasped tightly just below her waist. And so on …

I don't think anyone will approve of our relationship anyway, if there ever is one. I mean, I'm an ex-smuggler and I'm courting a senator and princess.

Oh hell, another message…

Oh no oh no oh no

Leia's datapad

Entry 4

What am I supposed to do? I have to give a speech for Mon Mothma's forty-something birthday. That's no problem, of course, but each of us will be seated in groups of ten and WE HAVE TO HAVE DATES. Oh hell I knew this would happen. Just when things were beginning to look up, something bad happens. How annoying typical.

Okay now to the task at hand. Who should I ask? There's Han, Luke, Wedge…come to think of it, there are many eligible bachelors here, why is it always Han?

Hopefully I don't have to ask anyone. Hopefully someone will ask me and spare me the humiliation.

Speak of the devil. Someone's knocking on the door.

Han's datapad

Entry 5

You won't believe what Luke, Wedge, Wes, Hobbie and I did. We started at the far end of the road. Wedge, who happens to be on the group of organizers for the event, carried a camcorder, saying that he will videotape the whole process then show it at her birthday. No matter how hard we try, none of us managed to pry it from his vice-like grip. So we had no choice but to just do it.

One by one, we knocked on Jeri's door but she looked through and shouted at us to get lost. Next was Leia. Everyone kept pushing me forward, telling me to go first. For some reason, they said she was all mine. Hell, did they bug our rooms or what?

Anyway, Janson pushed me and I fell against the door, with a thud I suppose could pass for a knock. Before I knew it, I heard Leia's lovely voice, "Coming!" at that moment, there was a mad scramble to escape but Wes stayed and kept me pinned to the wall.

"Hello Leia, Han would like to go to the birthday with you. You know, as a date." Wes said the moment Leia opened the door, a huge, bright smile plastered on his face.

I struggled then protested vehemently," NO I DON'T! JANSON, LET GO!"

She leaned against the frame of the door. " Well, Solo? do you want to go with me or not?"

That got me to stand still as Wes intended. "You want to go with me?" I asked, staring at her bewilderedly.

"Uh, I'll leave you guys alone," Janson said, hastily moving away, a huge grin plastered on his face.

"Yes, Han, I want to go with you. If you don't mind, that is."She said, blushing a little. I guess she isn't used to being frank.

"Oh yeah, I don't mind," I smiled lopsidedly at her.

"Do you want to come in? Or are they waiting for you?" she asked, glancing over my shoulder.

"No, they aren't, but I think I have to go." They were all laughing and whistling hysterically. " See you at the celebration."

Her lips were so alluring. I couldn't help it. I bent down and kissed her gently. It was meant to be short, but she deepened it, her hands coming up to run through my hair. I held her to me, my arm loosely circled around her waist. The cheering of the boys increased in volume. After a moment, she pulled away somewhat reluctantly

"Uh, I'm so sorry, I shouldn't have done that, I, uh, have to go now," she babbled, flustered. I grinned. She was so cute like that.

"Yeah sure." She promptly turned around and fled into the house.

I stood there numbly for a while, smiling foolishly.


End file.
